DANZIG MOTHERF*CKERS AND 138% SUCCESS IN BANNING CELLPHONES AT THE ORIGINAL MISFITS REUNION SHOWS IN VEGAS AND LA
Our Dark Lord and savior, Glenn Danzig joined Jerry Only and Doyle on stage as The Original Misfits in Las Vegas (12/28/2017) and Los Angeles (12/30/2017) to historically and gloriously close out 2017 with a bang (of a lot other dudes wives). Danzig instituted a ‘no cellphone’ policy for the shows, pissing off many entitled concert-goers. Knowing 138% of the American population have cellphones, Danzig knew he had to dredge the pits of hell for an ancient technology to secure people’s phones so they wouldn’t be in the air during the entire reunion show. Alas, he found Yondr…well, other performers had used Yondr prior to the reunion but let’s assume that Danzig probably told those cat turds about his discovery and they stole his idea.
You are probably asking yourself, if you weren’t cool enough to attend The Original Misfits reunion shows (like myself *insert tears*), what the fuck is a Yondr pouch? Well it is a locking phone pouch, that creates ‘phones-free spaces’ for concerts, schools, weddings, and/or film screenings. If users require access to their phone, they have to venture to the lobby or other designated ‘unlocking station’ to access their phones.
Prior to the show I saw mixed feelings on social media from those planning to attend on the use of the pouches, even in one of the most amazing Danzig Facebook groups to ever live, Keep On Danzig (where you must pledge your undying love for Danzig to join). Understandably people were torn, we are addicted to our phones; always plugged in to social media, texting, taking pictures, or videos….how can we enjoy ourselves at the concert, if we don’t take pictures during it? How did we enjoy ourselves doing anything prior to cellphones existing? No one knows (except Danzig, of course), but by some miracle we did. Fun shit happened in the pre-cellphone era (like…..Danzig motherfucker).
Earlier today I saw an article posted by Metalsucks.net calling the use of Yondr cases at the The Original Misfits reunion show(s) a failure and waste of money. Although, I was not there, I know a lot of people who were and for the most part people respected the wishes of the band and left their phones in the Yondr pouch. Of course, some found ways to remove their phones (by destroying the pouch) so they could snap pictures or videos. But I wouldn’t call the use of the pouch a failure, actually nowhere near…..look at the below picture captured by Instagram user 12zy_wolfknight
What is missing from his photo? I will tell you what is missing….THIS, look below……there are 9 people in this picture at a show I attended on Saturday for Bloodrock Media, 6 of them (a whopping 67%) have their phones out taking pictures, videos, or texting.
And as a short girl, I can tell you that cellphone users (and tall people) ruin my concert experience, specifically the Todds that record the entire fucking show…..I CANNOT SEE THE SHOW WITH YOUR ARMS AND PHONE SCREEN IN FRONT OF MY FACE. Even if I get on my tiptoes, I still can’t see because you have your arms over your head. But I’m sure you think it is cool, even though just like you I’m either here because I paid to see the show and can’t see it OR (more times than not) I’m here to work and can’t do my job because you decided you needed to take 5,000 shitty, low resolution cellphone pictures and/or videos that you will NEVER watch. FUCK YOU!
Alright, now that I got that off my chest……
I wouldn’t call not a single phone in the air in 12zy_wolfknight’s Instagram photo, despite several hundred people being visible, a failure. On the contrary that is an absolute success. Even if 10% of the attendees destroyed their Yondr pouches, guess what? That is still almost 57% fewer than would have typically had their phones up in the air, ruining someone else’s experience or not enjoying the moment.
To me that is the biggest reason for the Yondr pouch, people have forgotten how to enjoy the moment. You are at the concert, snap a picture or two, and put it away; enjoy the music, the experience, breathe in stench of the 500 fans just like you, and get in the fucking pit without fearing your phone gets destroyed….EXPERIENCE LIFE with your own eyes, not with your damn phone.
So metalsucks.net you are wrong, the ‘no cellphone’ policy at The Original Misfits reunion shows was an overwhelming success. And sure some people broke the rules (hence the pictures), but for the most part fans experienced The Original Misfits show(s) through their eyes, not through their cellphone screens. And that, my friends, is fucking progress!
To close out this article I thought I would share some of my friends in Keeping on Danzig creative uses for their Yondr pouches after the show, you may find it useful in the situation you found yourself with a spare or two:
- Dud holder
2. Kombucha Coozie
3. Notebook (yes, JW did attempt to eat through his case)
4. French Onion Soup Crock
5. Other Dude’s Wife Condom (we aren’t going to show you how to properly use that but…you get the idea)
Written by April Baggins for Bloodrock Media on January 8, 2018